Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
