i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
