just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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