i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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