Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
