Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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