he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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