the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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