I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
