Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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