do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
