i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
