Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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