Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Everclear isn't food dammit
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
