dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Houston, we have a squirter
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
