It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
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