Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
