so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
So squirting runs in the family.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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