I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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