my being single is dangerous.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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