how hairy? two words: wookie tits
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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