my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
