if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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