p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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