I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize