we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
