i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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