i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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