I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
