I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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