matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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