She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
