there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize