i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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