Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
