yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
