well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
