More tranny stories later!
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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