i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
