i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
