so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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