I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
