At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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