I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize