My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
dude i'm inner monologue high
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
