He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
