We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
