You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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