the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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