Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
