I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
