Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
