the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Randomize
