the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Semen is not good for contacts.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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