He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
