i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
