are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
