Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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