Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
