while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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