Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
