You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize