yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Sponge bath it is.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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