I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
