sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
