Where is the hickey?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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