Little spoons don't ask big questions
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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