Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry sunshine1205 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(734): View more from Michigan

Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.

Fav 17 1139 2187
share tweet
(313): View more from Michigan

So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?

Fav 37 5325 1607
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(954): View more from Florida

all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser

Fav 17 5202 1790
share tweet
(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?

(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.

Fav 32 1623 3881
share tweet
(682): View more from Texas

aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow

Fav 29 6547 1422
share tweet
(805): View more from California

Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.

Fav 10 4357 1454
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(805): View more from California

We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.

Fav 17 1365 2882
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(724): View more from Pennsylvania

My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.

(1-724): View more from Pennsylvania

I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it

Fav 5 1064 576
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(406): View more from Montana

Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.

Fav 0 8 31
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT