My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
