Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize