I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Come on in and take your pants off
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