Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
