On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
either way he was missing a nipple.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
