My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
