i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
you win again, gameday.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
