i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
