this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
